4am

4am

Must be time to get up

And hate myself, for a while

It’s been at least a day

Since I’ve thought about my worst memories

Done some regretting

And properly dwelt on my loneliness

Perhaps I’ll hate my job for a while, too

So much to do

 

4am

So I need to stand naked

In the pale grey light

On the walk back from the bathroom

To look over the emptiness of my life

Made clear by the stark shadows

Then I’ll wait

For Mama Cass to sing

And make this all seem stupid

 

4am

And I wonder whether it’s all in my mind

If I’m just feeling vulnerable

And far away, from life

Or is this actually it

When it is free from distraction

When it is all emptied out

Maybe I’m just peeking through the curtains

Seeing the stage, unlit

 

4am

I’m all alone

And I’m telling myself not to worry

It won’t seem so bad in the morning

But I can’t sleep

Instead I think of stories of ghosts

Seen in the dark of night

And wonder whether it’s never spirits that these people see

But the ghosts of the people they were meant to be