It would be
A Great Kindness
To me
If you would kick a puppy
To say that you vote Tory
That you’re a Brexiteer
That fat people are lazy
And that you drive over the speed limit
Tell me that you’ve cheated on your partners
That women whine
Children are annoying
And that you hate all animals!
Please say that you push into queues
That you waste money on Ubers
That you drink too much
And smoke too
I beg you to tell me
That your mum does your laundry
And that you never wash up
After she’s cooked you dinner
Tell me that I’m boring
Stupid
Ugly
A bit big for a girl!
Tell me that Pixar movies are for kids
That takeout coffee is a waste of money
That museums are boring
And that I’m a terrible writer!!!
Do me this kindness
Be a bastard
And proud of it
Just give me one good reason
To say
Fuck Off!
and
Goodbye.
Unstuck Monsters 