The Fury of Being in the Dark

How much of our anger, and irritability, and fear, sadness, pain etc. etc. comes from not-knowing?

I’ve been thinking about this, because, well, I think about everything at some point. How much of all the pain we carry around is because we don’t know what’s going on or what’s going to happen? The problem is made worse still by the fact that even if you are honest or try to let go of stuff, you can’t control the information given to you by people or by the world, or worse still by a future that hasn’t happened yet.

Think of it. All of it. All the things that drive you crazy, they’re probably dependent on some kind of information you don’t have. You don’t know whether that person likes you, you don’t know whether that person fancies you, you don’t why someone appears to not like you (bullies and the what not). Then there’s all the really intangible stuff, like will you find the job you want? Will you find someone to be with? How long is your life going to be? What can you do to increase your time on earth? (that seems to be especially popular now).

It’s all one big lack of information head fuck, no wonder it’s so difficult being a human being.

You might rightly wonder where this is all coming from. What has been happening in Julia’s life that has thrown up this particular blog? Well, it all has. I’m suffering from a great fury of not knowing. In some of the cases it’s because I have asked the right questions, in some it’s because I simply don’t know what’s going to happen. But in almost all of them the reason behind me not knowing is plain and simple fear.

That’s what it comes down to in the end. Why we don’t know who likes us, who loves us, where our careers are going, where our lives are heading. We don’t know, not because we are dishonest but because we are afraid to ask the important questions. Choosing instead to wait until the person in charge of the information gives it to us, and unfortunately for us, that other person might be doing the same thing.