You might have read a post I wrote the other day about how good it feels to let go of things, you might also remember that I discussed how crap I was at letting go of things when it came to emotions, when it came to human relationships.
Well, I’ve been thinking, maybe like the way I worked out how to let go of little things, like books I thought I should read or online courses I believed I should be doing, there’s also a way to work out how to let go of the bigger more important things. The things… Wait! No, people, the people we… I! need to let go of.
Maybe it’s as simple as working up a strategy. You can never stop liking someone, hating someone, wanting someone. You can try hard to convince yourself that they don’t want you, or aren’t worth wasting energy on, but that doesn’t really work now. Does it? But maybe with enough distance you can create a kind of letting go. A slow pushing of yourself away from the person until the feelings begin to fade.
Wow! That sounds depressing. I’m put in my mind of Scully on that boat in the ‘One Breath’ episode of The X-Files. But, you have to admit, it sounds like a plan. A plan is always a good start.
It sounds kind of cold and calculating, but maybe that’s what letting go of someone has to be. A slow, emotional distancing of yourself from the problematic person. You can’t keep holding on to… well, let’s not say hate for the time being, ’cause I’m going to hold on to my list of enemies probably till I get a chance to punch them all in the face. You can’t keep holding on to people you… fancy? Are attracted to? Are interested in?
I think I’ve learnt enough by now to know that continuing to be interested in someone does not make them interested in you. You can’t just wait these things out. People might change their feelings toward you, but you can’t drag yourself through months, maybe even years of emotional turmoil just on the off chance that they might change their minds about you.
Sorry, I’m sounding cryptic. But, hey, it’s my private life. You understand? Right?
So, yes. Distance sounds like a good approach. Maybe I’ll let you know if it works.
Good luck to everyone else trying to let go of things, people, relationships etc. It’ll no doubt be difficult, but eventually you’ll get to a much happier and healthier place I hope.